Father Foster was compiling a modern Latin Dictionary. 

“It may be defunct as a spoken language, but it’s still the official language of the Catholic Church,” the good cleric asserted.

“There are hundreds of modern terms that have no equivalent in Latin so I have compiled the ‘Lexicon Recentis Latinitatis’. 

“Part of it deals with modern inventions, such as the escariorum lavator or dishwasher.  Then there’s the birota automataria levis or motorbike.  You can purchase the pastillum botello fartum or hotdog, while watching a pellicula cinematographica obscena or pornographic movie.  There are more abstract modern terms such as tempus maximae frequentiae or rush hour.  We have the inconformitatis osor or hippie.  I’m hoping my dictionary will become a liber maxime divenditus or bestseller and will be taken by Latini feminarum captatores (Latin lovers) with them to the orbium phonographicorum theca or disco. 

Harvard Professor R.J. Tarrant complained,

“It seems when all else fails, he just sticks a Latin ending on to an existing word.  Frankie Howard’s Latin in Up Pompeii was much more realistic. 

Remember Bigus Dickus?  The priest is a fraud or fakilorum.”

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