The coach appealed for alterations to be done to the toilets so that they could be used for football matches

The Council made money available for hotel beds to be ready for tourist sin Summer

After the ceremony the bride and broom go to the vestry to sigh

WANTED: a domesticated woman to live with old lady and to hell with cooking

Girl for general housework, able to milk one cow and cook for three

Many parts of the country had the direst summer on record

P.A Announcement at Croke Park: Would those on the roof of the stands please come down at once, or steps will be taken to get them down

Soft drinks lorry ad: Drink T and P mineral waters

Shop Window: DON’T BE CHEATED ELSEWHERE. COME IN HERE!

Laundry: WHY KILL YOURSELF WITH WASHING? LET US DO IT BY HAND

On lake: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, IT IS UNSAFE TO BATHE

Newspaper headline when John Paul I found dead in bed:

POPE DIES FOR THE SECOND TIME IN A MONTH!

Shop: No dissatisfied customer allowed to leave this shop

chemists Window: WE DISPENSE WITH ACCURACY

Sign beneath large crucified Christ in Graveyard: EXECUTED BY MURPHY BROTHERS

Café: IF YOU THINK THE WAITRESS IS RUDE, YOU SHOULD SEE THE MANAGER

In Post Office: THIS MACHINE IS PERMANENTLY OUT OF ORDER

Fashion Shop: OUR BIKINIS ARE SIMPLY TOPS

Hotel: DRIVE-IN SWIMMING POOL

Café: SORRY, CLOSED FOR LUNCH

Barbers: HALF PRICE HAIRCUTS: ONE PER CUSTOMER ONLY

---