Agony Aunt, — May 12, 2009 20:28 — 0 Comments

Agnes on ‘Expenses’

Dear Agnes,


Knowing of your former close relationship with the much-maligned Lord Black of the Telegraph,

we the undersigned request – no, indeed! DEMAND – that you use your influence with the powers-that-be at his former organ to have these ludicrous newspaper revelations gagged immediately. 


Indeed we agree with Speaker Martin that the leaker should be identified immediately and strung up on Tyburn Hill.


We are the people too, as you know. We would not be ‘people like us’ if we did not have our servants, our swimming-pools, our third homes etc. and we expect the taxpayer is happy to maintain us in the style that keeps us above them in every respect. We accept that some expenses – like that fool’s dog-food, the other guy’s dirty movies and the Lord’s chandeliers – are indeed stretching it a little, but no one – not a single one – broke the rules that we established for ourselves, so where’s the harm?


OK there are five so-called MPs who never sat a day in the House yet insist they have legitimate parliamentary business here – enough to warrant three flats costing the British taxpayer some

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