Funny Old World, — June 19, 2009 14:36 — 0 Comments

Head lost from ‘natural causes’

In common with most people I have always desired a long and healthy life and when it is my time, a painless death from natural causes.


Until now, that is. Having read of a particular death ‘from natural causes’ in this week’s local press, I am now of two minds …

Before I quote the story verbatim from the Reporter, allow me to tell you that all local editors made much capital (I use the term advisedly) from the story of a mute swan that had apparently met with a cruel death at the hands of local vandals on the banks of the Newry Canal close to Mourneview Park. The story below appears to satisfy the PSNI. What about you?


Police have confirmed that the recent death of a swan in the Mourne View area was not malicious.


The male swan was found decapitated on the banks of the Newry Canal earlier in May. 


A PSNI spokesperson told the Newry Reporter:


‘Police can confirm that a post-mortem examination has been carried out on a dead swan found in the Mourne View Park area of Newry on Monday 11 May. The results indicate the animal died from natural causes.”


Decapitation? Not malicious ? Not ‘death by misadventure’ ? Not slaughter ?

What natural cause results in the physical loss of a head, pray tell ?

A bolt from the blue ?  A falling meteor ?  Any other suggestions, please ?

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