Tagged: Pozycjonowanie Settle Beds
August 23, 2012 at 2:54 pm #4454
Q. What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?
A. Dam!August 23, 2012 at 8:37 pm #4461
Spotted outside a rural cinema, “Love is a many splendoured thing”.For three days only.August 30, 2012 at 10:04 am #4552
This is a true story.
Two old friends in a pub, where I go ‘sometimes’, were having a bit of an argument
One shouted.’ I have medals for boxing, you know’.
The other retorted, ‘Well I have summons for fighting.’
Argument ended in laughter.September 2, 2012 at 11:10 am #4565
An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says,
“No way, buddy, you’re too drunk.”
A few minutes later, the drunk comes in though the bathroom. Again he slurs, “Give me a drink,” and the bartender says, “No, man, I told you last time — you’re too drunk”
Five minutes later the guy comes in though the back door and orders a drink, again the bartender says, “You’re too drunk”
The drunk scratches his head and says “Dang, I must be. The last two places said the same thing.”September 3, 2012 at 4:59 pm #4571
Did you ever notice that musicians play and doctors practice but the rest of us work for a living!
ByeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeSeptember 5, 2012 at 9:23 pm #4595
A Dublin firm sent the following letter to customers whose accounts were overdue; Man is dust. Dust settles. Be a man.September 6, 2012 at 3:58 pm #4602
When Ted was putting flowers on his Grandmother’s grave he noticed a man, very distraught, in front of a tombstone several yards away. The man was on his knees, hands tightly clasped in front of him, rocking back and forth, head tilted upward to heaven, tears streaming down his cheeks, moaning softly, “Why did you die? Why did you die?” Over and over again.
Ted was overcome with emotion at this sight and went over to the poor man to try and console him. “Why did you die? Why did you die?” bellowed the man again and again. Ted gently put his arm around the man and half whispered to him, “My Grandmother is buried just over there. Is a loved one of yours buried here?”
“No,” sniffled the man, “It’s my wife’s first husband.”September 7, 2012 at 8:27 pm #4614
A county Cork farmer came in to give instructions for his will, and after a long discussion the solicitor said, “Thats all right. You leave it all to me”. “God I suppose i’d better”, said the farmer,”for one way are another you’ll probably get it anyway”September 8, 2012 at 9:11 am #4616
A policeman brought four boys before a judge.
“They were causing an awful lot of commotion at the zoo, your Honor,” he said.
“Boys,” said the judge sternly, “I never like to hear reports of juvenile delinquency.
Now I want each of you to tell me your name and what you were doing wrong.”
“My name is George,” said the first boy, “and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen.”
“My name is Pete,” said the second boy, “and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen.”
“My name is Mike,” said the third boy, “and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen.”
“My name is Peanuts,” said the fourth boy.September 10, 2012 at 11:15 pm #4643
Fans comment on referee; he wouldn’t see a foul in a hen house.September 15, 2012 at 5:19 pm #4681
The following 3 Police Comments were taken from actual police car videos around the country. 1 “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”
2 “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”
3 “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”September 16, 2012 at 10:46 pm #4690
A man charged in court with stealing a hay fork was told that the prosecution could produce two witnesses who saw him do it. He replied; Well I can find a dozen who didn’t.September 20, 2012 at 11:54 am #4720
Four guys have been going on the same fishing trip for many years.
This year, Ron’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going.
Bitterly disappointed he phones and tells the others that he can’t go.
Two days later, the other guys get to the camping site only to find Ron
sitting there with a tent already set up.
“Dang Ron, how did you talk your missus into letting you go?”
“Well, yesterday evening, after my wife finished reading “Fifty Shades
Of Gray,” she dragged me into our bedroom, on the bed she had handcuffs and ropes!
She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, so I did.
Then she said, “Do whatever you want.”
So, here I am !!!September 20, 2012 at 2:45 pm #4723
A young girl came home from a date looking sad. She told her mother, “Charles proposed to me a few minutes ago.”
“Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked.
“Because he also mentioned he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn’t believe there’s hell!”
Her mother replied, “Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we’ll show him how wrong he is.”September 20, 2012 at 7:32 pm #4733
He, in night club ‘Hi would you like to come home and go to bed with me?’
She , in same night club ‘I beg your pardon! I don’t go to bed with any man who asks me.’
He ‘ Neither do I. So what about it?’
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.