Tagged: Pozycjonowanie Settle Beds
January 27, 2013 at 6:39 pm #11207
There are only two rings in marriage, “the wedding ring” and “the sufferingFebruary 2, 2013 at 9:35 pm #11572
He’s been married so often, his certificate says. “To whom it may concern.”February 5, 2013 at 7:47 pm #11700
Sign in a Police Station: It takes about 3500 bolts to put a car together; but only one nut to scatter it all over the road.February 5, 2013 at 8:59 pm #11706
Tom’s circus was so unsuccessful even his elephants have forgotten when they had their last booking.February 7, 2013 at 10:54 am #11771
An executive was interviewing a young woman for a position in his company. He wanted to learn something about her personality, so he asked, “if you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?”
She quickly responded, “The living one.”February 8, 2013 at 8:52 pm #11822
Here’s to alcohol—the cause of, and solution to,all of life’s problems. (Homer Simpson)February 10, 2013 at 11:15 am #11868
This is a true story. I was in ‘Meat Boutique’ in Hill Street Newry getting my ingredients for my fry. They had a sign outside the door stating that ‘All of our beefburgers contain only Beef. They are sourced from our farms so we know what is in them’. I got talking to the butcher about this and said that they must very happy with the way things are going for family butchers. He replied,’ Yes we are. We just can’t keep up the amount of burgers people are buying. They are galloping out of the shop.’ Newry people can be very funny at times.February 11, 2013 at 7:58 pm #11923
Glen, why do you always get so dirty? Asked the teacher.
Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are. He replied.February 16, 2013 at 12:29 am #12034
A woman is telling her friends. Of course it was me who made my husband the millionaire he is today”.” What was he before you got married” ?asks a friend. “A billionaire” replies the woman.February 19, 2013 at 12:16 pm #12152
A sign posted in a Dentist’s office said:
“Please be nice to our dentists. They have fillings too.”February 23, 2013 at 10:57 am #12297
My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian.
The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog’s ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog
could then hear fine.
The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should
go to the store and get some “Nair” hair remover and rub it in the dog’s ears once a month.
Andrea went to the store and bought some “Nair” hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist
told her, “If you’re going to use this under your arms, don’t use deodorant for a few days.”
Andrea said, “I’m not using it under my arms.”
The pharmacist said, “If you’re using it on your legs, don’t use body lotion for a couple of days.”
Andrea replied, “I’m not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I’m using it on my Schnauzer.”
The pharmacist says, “Well, stay off your bicycle for about a week.”February 24, 2013 at 5:27 pm #12370
Belfast playwright Joe Tomelty said. ” If there’s music in hell it’ll be the bagpipes.”March 1, 2013 at 11:49 pm #12620
From the Dublin Opinion; The curse of it is that when your learning golf you hit nothing , and when you are learning to drive you hit everything.March 3, 2013 at 11:47 am #12699
A monastery decided to start a fish and chips store. When the store opened, a client comes in, and asks one of the clerics: are you the fish fryer? Oh, no, the cleric answers, I’m the chip monk!March 9, 2013 at 9:52 pm #13240
A letter from a Dublin firm. We beg to inform you that vacancies are full.
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