jokes old and new

Viewing 15 posts - 121 through 135 (of 149 total)
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  • #14181
    the Watcher
    Guest

    Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very
    > elderly widow
    > and asked, ‘How old was your husband?’
    > ’98,’ she replied: ‘Two years older than me’ .
    > ‘So you’re 96,’ the undertaker commented.
    > She responded, ‘Hardly worth going home, is it?’
    >

    >
    >
    > I’ve sure gotten old!
    > I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
    > new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes,
    > I’m half blind, I can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
    > I take 40 different medications that
    > make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
    > I have bouts with dementia. I have poor circulation;
    > I hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
    > I can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92.
    > I have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
    > I still have my driver’s license …….

    #14204
    oak tree
    Participant

    Happiness is having a large, loving,caring close-knit family—in another city.

    #14365
    Pictionary
    Participant

    Married couples, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary. During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one a wish. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and poof — the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise. Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted. He said, “I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me.” So the fairy picked up her wand and poof — the husband was 90.

    #14522
    oak tree
    Participant

    Dear Son;  I have written to you five times asking you a simple question, but I got no reply. What do you think you are.?  A government department.

    #14967
    oak tree
    Participant

    Sir Edward Carson, the Unionist leader said;  Mr Asquith was like a drunken man walking a straight line, the further he went the sooner he fell.

    #14998
    best knife set
    Guest

    You’ve got a good blog page here most certainly done wonderful

    #15377
    oak tree
    Participant

    Notice in a vets waiting room.  Back in five minutes.  Sit!  Stay!

    #15543
    Jones sabo among them power saw digging
    Guest

    I have read this post and if I could I want to suggest you some interesting things or advice.

    #15583
    oak tree
    Participant

    John;  I drink to steady my nerves. Last night I got so steady I couldn’t move.

    #15611
    Jones sabo konnen sie beobachten milan against zen
    Guest

    I regard something truly interesting about your site so I saved to bookmarks .

    #15899
    oak tree
    Participant

    John;  Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand?.

    #15967
    Pictionary
    Participant

    One day a man is walking down the street when he sees an old man with a nice looking dog. He goes over to the man and asks: ‘does your dog bite?’ the old man replies ‘No never’. When the man bends down to stroke the dog, it immediately takes a snap at his hand. The man says ‘I thought you said your dog did not bite! ‘I did’ replies the old man, but this isn’t my dog!’

    #16238
    Jones sabo audio-video nightly rentals is the best
    Guest

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    #16802
    oak tree
    Participant

    A woman has the last word in any argument–anything a man says after that is the beginning of  a new argument.

    #16920
    Pictionary
    Participant

    What is the difference between a woman and a battery?
    “A battery always has a positive side.”

Viewing 15 posts - 121 through 135 (of 149 total)
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