John McCullagh January 7, 2004
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‘It’s hard on me, especially’, said the Black Jesus, leader of the Dabsau Cult of Papua New Guinea, about the court ruling that had gone against him.  ‘But believe me, I’ll get to the bottom of this, if it’s the last thing I do.’  The judge had imposed a heavy fine and delivered a strong verbal reprimand.

‘You may call it an act of worship.  I call it gross indecency!  Taking your clothes off and playing with each other’s shameful parts is tantamount to causing a breach of the peace’.

The police commander had explained to the court.  ‘Any man or woman who enters their Centre is required to remove all clothing, go to the altar and play with the Black Jesus’ penis until he says whether they have passed the test.  Then they pair off and explore each other’s private parts as they work on sculptures of each other.  No one has complained of anything happening against their will, but it can’t be all legal and fair, can it?’  There was a hint of jealousy in his final phrase.

The heavy fine was quickly covered by voluntary contributions and the Cult’s following soared.  Nothing else was covered, but it was more than hearts that rose as a result!

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