Jokes

John McCullagh June 17, 2019

  I confess to scepticism over the need for these Assertiveness Courses.   [I assume you heard of the two nuns leaving the college? One turned to the other and remarked, ‘Mother Superior, aren’t these Self Assertion Classes just f***ing  great?’].     

John McCullagh June 12, 2019

 Fun Corner Hidden in the bureaucratic gobbledygook below are common proverbs and expressions. The answers will be provided at the next updating of Newry Journal contents! Scintillate, scintillate, minor asteroid Neophyte’s serendipity Members of an avian species of similar plumage congregate en masse Surveillance should precede saltation Pulchritude possesses merely cutaneous profundity Do not become […]

John McCullagh June 3, 2019

Reasoning 1: Answers   1          D         The two sentences here assume that concentrated study is a sufficient (as well as being a necessary) condition for academic success.   2          D         Try this yourself using an empty cereal packet and a Stanley knife.  Left is a triangular shape.  Eight of these create 24 extra sides to […]

John McCullagh November 9, 2012

In the early hours of last Tuesday a major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and an earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale hit Lurgan with its epicentre in Kilwilkee Estate. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering “fukinell”. The hurricane decimated the area causing almost £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca […]

John McCullagh January 28, 2012

  In the end, everyone’s luck runs out. The Lone Ranger was finally ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.  The Indian Chief Tomahoko observed his enemy.