John McCullagh November 9, 2012

In the early hours of last Tuesday a major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and an earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale hit Lurgan with its epicentre in Kilwilkee Estate. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering “fukinell”. The hurricane decimated the area causing almost £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca […]

John McCullagh January 28, 2012

  In the end, everyone’s luck runs out. The Lone Ranger was finally ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.  The Indian Chief Tomahoko observed his enemy.

John McCullagh January 26, 2012

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians passed on from generation to generation, and for that matter replicated in various guises in a host of other ancient cultures, advises as follows:

John McCullagh November 29, 2011

A whole month ago, I spotted a sign outside a door in Killeavey Road : Santa: Please Stop Here !  How those parents might curb imminent expectations, I’ll never know!

John McCullagh September 6, 2011

There’s no compensation for loss of youth – but Senior Citizens enjoy a few advantages too! This morning, for example …

John McCullagh August 2, 2011

Single farmer in the autumn of his years, seeks sensitive, nubile young nymphomaniac for housekeeping purposes and maybe more.  I can offer your own bedroom too, if ever you feel the need to use it!  Must have wide, ‘child-bearing’ pelvis.

John McCullagh June 6, 2011

I agree she should have apologised and paid reparations. But inflicting Westlife on her was a little cruel. She HAD to drown her sorrows!

John McCullagh June 6, 2011

Some say that Guinness isn’t as strong as it once was. I disagree. In fact, I think it should come with a health warning, especially for those who aren’t used to it.