Meddling with Prayers

Youngsters of all ages hold little respect for things held sacred by their elders. 

Remember when we ourselves were young, we used to mock even the prayers we were meant to say so piously and frequently.

Instead of the imprecation

‘Matthew, Mark, Luke and John

Bless the bed that I lie on ..’

that we were meant to say on retiring for the night, we swapped the second line for..

‘Houl’ the horse till I climb on!’

The two principal prayers of the Rosary suffered likewise ..

‘Our Father who art in Heaven

Hollowed below Belfast

Give us this day

Our debts to pay

Thirty shillings, with costs!’

And ..

‘Hail Mary, full of Grace

Cleared the pritties

Right outta the place!


Holy Mary, mother of God

Send me down a couple of bob!’

I don’t think this last one was ever a prayer, but I remember it well, for all that!

Holy Moses, King of the Jews
bought his wife a pair of shoes:
when the shoes began to wear, Holy Moses began to swear:
when the swear began to stop, Holy Moses bought a shop:
when the shop began to sell, Holy Moses .. went to hell!

Out of hell there’s no redemption;
when you go in, you get your pension
tuppence a day, working hard,
kicking the divil round the yard!


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