John McCullagh December 15, 2009
piratesmall.jpg

‘Esau Looney was a firearms expert,’ said the Sheriff,

‘who liked to teach people how to safely handle firearms.



Unfortunately, yesterday, when he was demonstrating the safety mechanisms on several guns by holding them to his head, and asking his girlfriend (and beneficiary) whether it was safe to pull the trigger, one unexpectedly went off and blew his brains out.’ 

‘No one was more surprised than me!’ alleged the new millionaire, Miss Lotta Cash.

‘He always checked the gun cylinder for live bullets – even after I’d checked them for him first,’ she smiled sweetly.

‘Just before he shot himself, he was the happiest I’d even seen him.

I’m sure it’s just the way he’d have liked to go.’

Sheriff Dang Trustin dismissed any chance of foul play.

‘I admit it’s a strange way to teach gun safety!

But Miss Cash and I are close friends.

I’m certain she’d not have wished for this to happen’, he added.


St Louis Post  – some names changed to protect the (alleged) innocents.

Leave a comment.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.