Dodgem Cops

The police arrived promptly in response to a father’s call that his son had sustained an injury as a result of a collision. Cars had been left abandoned and strewn across the scene. Some had been deliberately rammed into each other, reports suggesting that some drivers were even laughing as they ploughed into their victims, sending them into a spin.


Although it was a funfair in Cannock, Staffordshire and the collision was between two dodgem cars, the police took the complaint seriously, spending four hours taking witness statements. In the end the father decided not to press charges.

Smile if you will, but remember this police unit was unavailable for serious incidents all the time. And the cost of all this wasted time fell upon the hard-pressed taxpayer.


I’m minded of the story doing the rounds a few months ago. As usual, the teller can swear that it really happened to a friend of a friend of his. This teller abstains.

The householder rang the police to inform them at that very moment he could see two shifty characters breaking into his garden shed with evil intent. The duty sergeant apologised that there were no units available to respond. One would arrive as soon as possible. But, the man protested, the robbers would meantime make good their escape. He got a further apology only.

Two minute later he rang again, identified himself as the previous caller and advised the police not to bother, he’d seen to it himself, he’d shot the two thieves. Then he hung up.

Two minute later the air in his vicinity was resonant to the screech of many police sirens and even to the heavy thud of police helicopters overhead. A heavily-armed unit burst into his home.

“Where are they?” demanded the sergeant. “I thought you said you shot the two burglars?”

“I thought you said you had no one available!” he responded.

Funny, the story always stops there, no matter who the teller. But surely the police’s next words and actions were worth recording! In any case it is a course of action that you’d be well advised not to try at home.

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