Offensive Bird

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and a worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious or profane.  John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of, to “clean up” the bird’s act.

All to no avail. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.  The parrot yelled back.  John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.

In desperation John threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.  He could cool off there for a while! 

For a few minutes, the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed….then, suddenly, there was total quiet.

Not a peep was heard for over a minute.  Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the freezer door.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms, and spoke in grave tones.

“I fully accept’, the parrot admitted,

‘that I have offended you grievously with my rude language and actions.

I wish to assure you that I am sincerely remorseful for all my inconsiderate and most inappropriate transgressions.

Furthermore I assure you that I fully intend to do everything in my power in the future to ensure my correct and appropriate behaviour at all times.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude – not to mention his grasp of language!

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird continued,

‘Good master, I wonder if I might be allowed to know the answer to one small question?

It is this.

What terrible offence did that turkey commit to be slaughtered, plucked and trussed up in that manner?’



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