Seein’ Double: Woman Trouble

Ah might a given ye the wrong notion of it that the travelling woman was al’ays a gracious and charitable cratur wi’ cures aplenty and such like.  Well, though her great knowledge was respected, she cud be a schemin’ oul wan too!

There was this woman an’ she was married but wasn’t she carryin’ on with another man unanownst till her husband.  He had he’s suspicions though an’ this time, didn’t he catch them, this man an’ the wife together, an’ there was holy murder.
There was an old travellin’ woman used to be around that country – I mine her meself!  She’d get tay and’ a night in the house.  She come in and the woman was on her lone.  She seen there wus somethin’ up an’ she axed the woman was there anything the matter.  
‘Oh, an awful unlucky thing happened this morning’, says she, telling her what happened.
‘Ah well, no matter’, says the travelling woman, ‘I think I know a way of curin’ that! Lav it till me.’
They had sowans for their supper an’ the oul’ travelling woman ate a big baul.  Next morning she asked the woman where the man was.
‘He’s away out working in the field along the road,’ says she.
Off goes the travelling woman and she seed him working like mad in the field along the ditch.  He was in bad humour.  She raised her hand up to her eyes, the better till see, and she says,
‘Good morning to both of yous!’
 ‘What do you mean?’ he says, as mad as hell.
 ‘Good morning to both of yous?! There’s on’y me here..’
‘Ah!’ says the travelling woman.  ‘I had a big baul o’ sowans for supper an’ it puts a great mist over me eyes, she says, so that I see two where there’s on’y the wa’n!’
An’ he got to thinkin’ for he had a big feed o’ sowans the night before he’d seed he’s wife wi’ the man.
‘Maybe that’s what came over me’, he says, ‘for I had sowans myself before I saw that!’

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