John McCullagh August 3, 2007
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Now this was bad.  I knew that I had no chance of raising the lid, as he was the heavier of the two of us. Besides if he turned the screws home, that was it for me!

I am proud to say now that I didn’t panic. I knew that this was what he wanted me to do and I wasn’t going to let him win.  So I just stayed calm and hoped to brazen it out.  To stay quiet and not move an inch would be the best bet. Just lie still and wait and curiosity would get the better of him, I reasoned. He might raise the lid a fraction and then that would be my chance to get one hand outside the box.  So I waited … and waited … and waited!

If you have ever wondered what it is like inside a coffin with the lid screwed shut I can tell you, believe it or not, it is quite comfortable inside. A little cramped I must admit! Not a lot of room for manoeuvring! The lid extends down quite close to your face – almost touching the tip of your nose, but there is this wonderful smell of new wood and varnish.  The worst part is the darkness and you can’t help wondering whether there is enough air in there. 

The coffin was exceptionally well constructed and not a chink of light could I discern around the lid.  It was eerie, I must say and you can’t help but wonder what it must be like to be buried alive in one. It does makes you shudder a little.

The thing that I remember most of the time I spent in that coffin was the muted sound of the transistor radio playing in the background.  I shall always remember the song that was playing at that time; the song was Richard Harris’s classic, MacArthur Park. It was currently in the charts at that time.  It felt somehow very appropriate for the occasion.  Even to this day that song will always remind me of the time I spent trapped in the darkness of that coffin. 

 

Macarthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don’t think that I can take it
‘Cause it took so long to bake it
And I’ll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

 

… 3 of 4 The Coffin 

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