Workhouse 4

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Mr Forster, the first Clerk, died before the Workhouse opened and was replaced in 1840 by Mr Smith.  His salary was increased in February 1843 from

Surgeon Savage was employed for three months from 1 February 1848 for

Black Cult

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‘It’s hard on me, especially’, said the Black Jesus, leader of the Dabsau Cult of Papua New Guinea, about the court ruling that had gone against him.  ‘But believe me, I’ll get to the bottom of this, if it’s the last thing I do.’  The judge had imposed a heavy fine and delivered a strong verbal reprimand.

‘You may call it an act of worship.  I call it gross indecency!  Taking your clothes off and playing with each other’s shameful parts is tantamount to causing a breach of the peace’.

The police commander had explained to the court.  ‘Any man or woman who enters their Centre is required to remove all clothing, go to the altar and play with the Black Jesus’ penis until he says whether they have passed the test.  Then they pair off and explore each other’s private parts as they work on sculptures of each other.  No one has complained of anything happening against their will, but it can’t be all legal and fair, can it?’  There was a hint of jealousy in his final phrase.

The heavy fine was quickly covered by voluntary contributions and the Cult’s following soared.  Nothing else was covered, but it was more than hearts that rose as a result!

Finest Lady Ever

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I determined as a New Year resolution, to visit again old friends I had not seen for quite a while.  I had feared that my dearest friend and distant relative, Sarah Hagan of Ardboe, might not be with us any longer.  It had been almost two years since I had visited.

Imagine my delight to find her well, if confined to bed.  Her mind is as sharp as ever.  She had feared for us, because we had lost contact!

Sarah will be ninety eight in July, if God spares her.  She is easily the most fantastic human being I have ever met.  I love her very dearly.  Happy New Year, Sarah, and may you see many more!  You are as dear and charming as ever.

Rabbie Burns

I’ve heard it said that no one knows the words, so here they are.  Next New Year’s Eve, you’ll be the only one singing the right lines, and you’ll look the right g