The T
On Friday night at 7.30 (
John McCullagh
Headless Corpse
The criminal charges appeared strangely out of sync with the circumstances that presented themselves to the Cobb County police of Atlanta, Georgia.
‘We are charging him with failure to maintain lanes, with jumping lights and… ah.. yes, and with first degree vehicular homicide.’
‘Hutcherson was so drunk,’ the officer went on, ‘that he had no idea what had happened. He seems genuinely remorseful.
A neighbour called us out this morning after seeing the headless body sitting up in the passenger seat of his truck. Hutcherson was asleep inside in his bed, fully-clothed and covered in blood.
Our detectives had to work out what had happened.’
Apparently with his friend Daniel Brohm, John Hutcherson had spent the entire day drinking. When they finally left the bar Brohm leaned out the passenger door being violently sick. The drunk driver veered across the road onto the verge where a telegraph pole was fastened to the ground by a steel hawser. The latter decapitated Brohm without Hutcherson noticing. He drove home another twelve miles before stumbling out and into his bed. Asked to explain, Corporal Pierce added,
‘We found the decapitated head twelve miles back at the side of the road and there were blood streaks on the hawser. It’s hard to believe that anyone could drive a further twelve miles without realizing his passenger had lost his head… literally.
Without witnesses we don’t know if any charges will stick. I mean, nobody saw him weaving through lanes or jumping lights. Could he have intended his friend’s death on that hawser? Who knows?’
Ballymascanlon
The only remaining
Nightmare Days
“Go down for the Belfast Telegraph,” she said,
“And a packet of Victory V for your da’s head cold.”
Insulting Expressions
Local expressions – mainly insulting!
What can you expect from a pig but a grunt?
Junior Certificate
Some of our teachers were excellent. We also had some who hadn’t a clue how to put over their subject. One such was the Mathematics teacher and I fear we were all disadvantaged by her lack of perception of our needs.
High Street: Miss Ethel
In recognition of the efforts of Ann Mullan and those others arranging a High Street Reunion in August, we print here the early reminiscences of that famous High Street lady Miss Ethel Fitzpatrick.
Murphy Bros Poulterers
If one could corner the market, the most profitable business in Newry would be that of ‘Shop Outfitters’, for there is never a day but that one observes the rubble skips filling up outside one or other retail business as some indomitable entrepreneur – like Bruce’s spider – makes yet another gallant effort to succeed in the retail trade.