In the end, everyone’s luck runs out.
The Lone Ranger was finally ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief Tomahoko observed his enemy.
John McCullagh
The Circus
We relished any opportunity for entertainment in those Golden Days of long ago. Most popular of all was the travelling circus.
Stop? Or slow down?
This smart London lawyer in Glasgow ignores a stop sign and gets pulled over by a local policeman.
He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from London and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cops expense!
Glasgow cop : ” Licence and registration, please.”
London Lawyer : “What for?”
Glasgow cop : “Ye didn’ae come to a complete halt at the stop sign.”
London Lawyer : “I slowed down, and no one was coming.”
Glasgow cop : “Ye still didn’ae come to a complete stop. Licence and registration”.
London Lawyer : “What’s the difference?”
Glasgow cop : “Ye hae’te come to a complete stop. Licence and registration!”
London Lawyer : “If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I’ll give you my licence and registration.
And you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go. No ticket.”
Glasgow cop : “Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.”
The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.
The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts furiously beating the living daylights out of the lawyer, all the time saying,
“Dae’ ye wan’ me to stop,
or just slow doon?”
…
Talking of road etiquette. Someone was innocently videoing two lads on skateboards when he heard furious tooting on a car horn.
He turned to film that instead.
And caught a road hog getting his just desserts!
Bank Re-Arrangements
Mr E Scrooge
Usury Bank
Hill Street
NEWRY
7.1.2012
Dear Sir,
I am writing to thank you for causing my cheque …
Glassdrumman Fishermen 1843
There were harsh times in Ireland in the middle of the nineteenth century – and harsher still to come, when in 1843 a great fishing disaster befell the communities along the Mourne shore. This popular ballad tells the tale.
The Sistine Chapel
We have a number of enthusiastic art critics on Newry Journal.
What better than a tour of Michaelangelo’s works in the Vatican’s Sistine Chapel?
Euro Pint !
Spare a thought for poor Michael O’Leary, Chief Executive of Ryanair…….
Arriving in a hotel in Dublin , he went to the bar and asked for a pint of draught Guinness.