John McCullagh January 24, 2008
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Two rookie robbers in Chicago USA were today languishing in prison after perhaps the most foolish escapade of their young lives. Perhaps we ought to relive a little of their trauma with them.

At first when they entered the Home Bakery Office, armed to the teeth all went well enough for them. The takings were demanded and handed over and the pair escaped on foot, a stuffed bag each under an arm.

‘You got the bread, man?’

‘Yeah, no problem. And you?’

‘Never fear. The dough’s in here’, he rhymed amusedly, brandishing the bag.

When they were well clear, they each opened their bags. Sure enough, one had a bag full of uncooked dough and the other, one filled with puffy bread rolls!

The first guy, gesticulating wildly with his right hand that still held his loaded pistol, accidentally discharged the weapon and shot his equally-foolish companion in the left thigh.

They were arrested as they sought medical aid in the local hospital.

…………

The less-sophisticated members of Britain‘s opposition parties (i.e. all of them) are getting great mileage currently out of the fact that two of Labour’s Ministers carry punnable nomenclatures.

‘Isn’t that … Darling?’

‘No. That’s Balls!’

‘Sorry?’

‘Balls, Ed.’

‘No, I’m Fred!’

‘And he’s Ed! Ed Balls!’

‘And Darling?’

‘Yes, love?’

‘Darling’s in charge of the money, of course!’

….

Anyway the Public Relations team at Norwich‘s City Council took steps to avoid similar embarrassment over their names.

The lovely Lynette Alcock reasoned when she was teamed up with Richard Balls – with their task being to spin every Council catastrophe into a credible yarn for consumption by the press and the public – that there was always the danger that their best efforts would simply be described as an ‘Alcock and Balls’ story.

She reacted by reverting to using her maiden name of Day.

Unfortunately for her Balls resigned soon after and the Council appointed two new men in his place, one called Arthur Blessed and the other Robert Lyall.

Poor Lynette was left wondering whether a Public Relations team named Lyall, Blessed, Day was any improvement at all on the original.

 

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