Mr Peter Mandelson, Her Majesty’s Pro-Consul to McArthurland (formerly the
All those residing in McArthurland will immediately desist from the despicable pretence that they speak a language of their own known as U.S. English. This is an oxymoran and all such are banned.
Any subjects apprehended in violation of this Order will be transported for immediate re-education to the
(NO! We do not accept that that is an oxymoran in itself!).
The former leader, George W Bush has been arrested and charged with crimes against Her Majesty’s English language. He has already been transported to Her Majesty’s latest overseas dependency
All imports of tea into Boston Ma. from Her Majesty’s Indian Sub-Continent are banned and will remain so for all time. This is in direct reprisal for the Boston Tea Party (Now, you’ll be sorry!!)
Stand by for further Orders in Council.
God Save The Queen
Signed, Peter (Tony’s crony) Mandelson