John McCullagh September 8, 2005
Boris Johnston Cocaine

This, allegedly a true story, was contributed. Only the names have been changed, for many of us might hazard a guess as to the real identity of the main protagonist!  Please note it is not the character here pictured!

     Mick was a thief.  From the time I knew him he was always up to something shady.  He had never worked yet he always dressed well and most of the time had money in his pocket.

But on this day things were not going well for him.  He had very little money. The horses had failed him and none of his friends were around for him to borrow from and pay back later (which never came).  To make matters worse, it was Mothers Day the following day and for all his faults he never forgot his mother.  A devious plan was hatched. 

       He went into the local newspaper shop and asked Arthur, the owner, for a Mothers Day card.  He talked generally about the weather and local gossip.  In front of the shopkeeper he filled out the card and signed it, from your loving son Michael.  He then addressed the card and began to put a five pound note and three pound coins into the envelope.  The proprietor, an acquaintance, saw what he was doing and stopped him before he had licked the paste of the envelope.

What in the name of heavens are you doing, Mick?  You know that money will never get to your mum.  Would you not be better off writing out a cheque for the money and then posting it? 

      I would if I had a cheque book.  It was stolen from the car last night and I havent got round to getting a new one, he replied.

         Look.  Give me the eight pounds and I will make out a cheque to your mum for the amount and you can post it off to her.

         Thanks very much Arthur. I appreciate that kind gesture.

          With that Mick took the cheque, placed it in the envelope, sealed it and with a wave and a must rush – have to catch the post‘, he was out of the shop.

        In his car Mick opened the envelope, took out the cheque, added a y to the eight, then added a zero to the 8.  

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