The Diagonal Steam Trap [1]

Now they built a big ship down in Bell-Fast

Construed for till sell to the Turks

And they called on the Yard’s chief designers

To test all the engines and works

An’ finally the engines were ready

And they screwed on the very last part

An’ yer man says, ‘Let’s see how she runs, lads’,




Bejaysus, the thing wouldn’t start!


An’ they pushed and they shoved an’ they muttered

Till the engineers’ faces turned red

The designer, he stood looking stupid

An’ scratchin’ the top of his head

An’ when they were pushin’ and shoving

Up danders aul’ Jimmy Dalzell

He had worked 20 years on The Island

An’ 10 on the Aircraft as well.



An’ he pushed and he shoved an’ he jostled

Till he got himself up to the front

An’ he has a good look round the engines

An’ he gives a few mutters and grunts

An’ then he looks up at the Gaffer

An’ he says, ‘Mr Smith, do you know

They’ve left out the Diagonal Steam Trap

How the hell did ye think it ‘ud go?’





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