John McCullagh – Page 2

Where is Mary?

October 23, 2021 by John McCullagh

On the campaign trail George W Bush calls into the primary school for a carefully orchestrated photo-opportunity. What could go wrong? They were not yet teenagers.

‘Would anyone like to ask me questions?’

‘I have two questions,’ said sweet little Mary, with an innocent smile.

‘Yes, petal, what are they?’ he smiles back benignly.

‘Why did we invade Iraq? And why are you President when you broke all your promises?’

Just then the break bell went and everyone filed out to the yard for morning recess. When they returned a short time later, Bush was back at the podium.

‘Does anyone have any questions for me now?’ he asks innocently.

‘I have four questions,’ says little Johnny at the back.

‘O.K.’, says Bush. ‘What are they?’

‘First, why did we invade Iraq? Second, why are you President when you broke all your promises?

Third, why did the recess bell go ten minutes early?

And last, where is Mary?’

Reversal – M Connolly

October 22, 2021 by John McCullagh

You can tell a lot about a person by quickly scanning their bookshelves, almost as much as you can by listing their friends, their musical or artistic tastes or their leisure pursuits.

Big Clock

October 22, 2021 by John McCullagh

It was the early 60s. Many working men still wore cloth caps, like the man passing John Temples in the background.

One morning in 1797 the Ancient Britons [a Welsh Regiment of the English Army ] accompanied by Becker’s Yeomanry, rode out from Newry through Corrags until they came to a loanan which, over a hill, led to the farm of a widow woman, one Mrs Ryan.

Derrybeg: Bessie Flashes

October 21, 2021 by John McCullagh

Yes, in the early years we walked to school. I vividly remember walking down the Camlough Road in the dark, on a winter morning, and seeing flashes lighting up the sky.

No, it wasn’t lightning. It was Bessie, the Bessbrook tram, heading along the meadows towards the terminus at Edward Street.

Mary Kane’s Class

October 20, 2021 by John McCullagh

It just struck me! Mary Kane (Rose Mary Kane) – that’s the same moniker as that famous country singer and celebrity panellist from Newry …. well, Meigh, actually, – Rose Marie … and maybe ‘infamous’ is the word.

Anyway, is she any relation?

More Home Baking

October 20, 2021 by John McCullagh

You’d be up for child cruelty today if they heard you let the wee ones lick the bowl in which the cake ingredients were mixed!

There was a dogfight every time in our house for the opportunity. I’m trying to remember the taste… easy when it contained rich seasoning, ginger or dried fruit.. whatever, we loved it and fought over it. It took mum to brandish the wooden spoon before peace could be restored. We must have felt that wooden spoon in anger more than once, for no lion-tamer’s whip could have been more effective in restraining us!

It had to be wielded too to keep us off the cooling confections. Mum determined a minimum time before the new cake of bread could be cut. We paced like convicts in anticipation.

Hugh Gorman: Hairdresser

October 19, 2021 by John McCullagh

For more than seventy years, Gormans Hairdressers have traded from Monaghan Street – beside the Railways Gates there! Oh, all right, beside the Bus Stop! Here are some archive photos. They are explained on our next story.

Going Home

October 19, 2021 by John McCullagh

We like to encourage local talent. Catherine McGrath, of Shore Road, Rostrevor has had the following short poem chosen for publication elsewhere. We wish her the best of luck. I’m sure many a lonely emigrant will shed a quiet tear reading her words!

Catherine McGrath ( age 13)