‘The most common excuse is that they ‘fell unto’ these objects. We frankly find that hard to believe, especially the bloke with a can of shaving cream wedged in his anal passage. There was three feet of battery wire firmly attached and wound round it. He didn’t even attempt an explanation of that! To be honest, we thought at first it was an even more perverse form of human bomb, and no doctor would approach him!
The spokesman for the University Medical Centre at Leiden in Netherlands warmed to his subject.
‘Sometimes it’s fruit, vegetables, bottles, billiard balls, a Barbie doll, candles or screwdrivers. This mania particularly afflicts men of between forty and sixty years of age.’
I don’t know why, but that last comment unnerved me somewhat!
‘But they can be of any age’ he continued, as if to reassure me.