Witness Protection

There was a murder reported in the Mountpottinger district of Belfast last week. An old widow woman was robbed and battered to death …

The only witness was her pet parrot who has been feeling quite sick ever since. 

This particular parrot has a wide vocabulary and has been singing, like … well, like a bird … ever since it was taken into protective custody. 

It has been placed by the PSNI in the Witness-Protection Programme and has undergone an extensive make-over in preparation for future release back into the parrot community, should the culprits be identified and successfully prosecuted.

Police have put out an APB on two shady characters who are thought to go under the sobriquets of Houssai (Pretty Boy) Denn and Joey.

Any further information would be appreciated.

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