Great Bank Robbery

T’was the week before Christmas and all round the street

Nothing was stirring – not even police

But up in a bank like bees around honey,

Men toiled for hours at stealing the money.

They were certain their plan it was really auspicious

But two people outside became very suspicious

They saw a white van where one should not be

They searched for police – but none could they see

But they found a warden and told what they saw

He thanked them profusely and then phoned ‘the law’

The police raced around – they were there in a jiffy!

– this part of the tale I consider most iffy –

‘There’s nothing suspicious’ they said ‘to be found

Just hundred pound bank notes littering the ground.’


‘OK,’ said Control, ‘now return to your beat.’

And that’s what they did – went straight back to sleep.


There seemed not one glitch to the bank robbers’ plan

They were scot-free away! Then the dirt hit the fan,

‘About twenty-two million is what has been taken

From the great Northern Bank and I tell you I’m shaken’ …

So said the nice policeman, and he went on to declare

‘The twenty-two million is now in thin air.

‘But don’t worry we’ll catch them – they’ll not get away

Cause we know who did it- was the boul’ IRA!’


‘But how do you know this? Are there things we should know?’

Asked the man from the press, before the policeman could go.


‘OK’ said the copper, ‘I’ll let you have this one.

Two wore police uniforms and one had a gun.’


 With that he was off, to catch the robbing crew

Whilst the men from the media were amazed at what he knew.

So I’m sorry for you robbers, but no matter what you do

Be afraid! Be very afraid! The PSNI are after you.


… Gerry Davey, stonemason …

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