For lack of a ..

Dear Agnes,

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV …

…. as usual. I hadn’t gone more than a mile down the road when my engine spluttered and conked out and the car shuddered to a halt.

I walked back home to get my husband’s help. When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom ‘servicing’ a neighbour lady – making mad passionate love to her. I am 32 (I enclose a photograph), my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious. He’d carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began resuscitation procedures. When she awoke she immediately began thanking him and kissing him and he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them were clothed, he offered no reasonable explanation.

He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I threw him out of course but now I find I’m having trouble myself getting serviced.

Can you please help?


Mrs. Naula Loan

Dear Nuala,

I showed your photograph round my local bar and shared your story with the regulars. You will be pleased to learn that there were a lot of offers to help you get serviced!

However if you want to do the job yourself I offer the following advice.

A car stalling like that is usually symptomatic of a faulty fuel filter. Buy one at the local garage, open the bonnet and find the part identical to the new one. Remove it by loosening the jubilee clips at each end and replace it with the new one. Be sure to screw it on tight then. 

It is entirely possible that all your problems began for lack of a good tight screw.

I hope this helps


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