John McCullagh May 29, 2005
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The latest Government initiative to curtail yobbish behaviour is the imposition of ASBO’s, or anti-social behaviour orders.  One had already been served upon solicitor Roger Maxwell’s client, Stephen Winestoned when he was re-arrested.

‘He was going literally bananas!’ testified P.C. Plod to the court.

 He did a great deal of criminal damage and terrified the whole village.

He told us he found a crate of bananas washed up on the shore. He had eaten only one when we apprehended him’. 

The police had the evidence forensically examined only to discover that smugglers had filled the unzipped banana skins with cocaine and then re-sealed them. There was enough class ‘A’ drugs in one banana to blow the minds of a whole hippy colony!!  

The shocked judge was unwilling to allow that Winestoned was unaware of the bananas contents when he consumed it. He was on the point of imposing a severe sentence when the solicitor produced the terms of Winestoned’s previous ASBO. It read,

…’..is prohibited from not being drunk or drugged in a public place.’

‘According to this,’ the solicitor concluded,

‘my client was fulfilling the terms of his ASBO to the letter’.

There could be no argument. His client was freed!!

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