Agnes on Water Rates

Dearest Agnes,

Being the soul of discretion and much to be admired, perhaps you could tell me what will happen when the Bolshi Council in that wonderful City of Newry introduces Water Rates to the Community.

Will the populace pay the bill or will they resort to withholding payment or even to striking as they have done in the past. Would it be too much to hope for, that responsible Councillors might get kicked in the ‘cooley kickem’s?

What about a separate vote on this one? 


Water Tight.

Dear Watertight,

You got me on this one!  

For the life of me I don’t know what part of the anatomy is a ‘cooley kickem’! 

Would it be fair to speculate that a male might be considerably more pained by a blow than a female?  In this case, thank you for extending my vocabulary!

Great news about the Bolshoi’s coming to town!   

Definitely my favourite Ballet Company so at last a little culture in the Town Hall (recently renamed City Hall). 

Our esteemed absentee British Pro-Consul Mr Paul (The Invisible Man) Murphy will hand this problem over to one of his minions, possibly Barry (I’ll appoint a Commissioner to replace you!) Gardiner.   

Don’t hold your breath waiting for newly-reelected Councillors to resign over the issue, as they recently did over Education cuts.   Those resignations were a cynical ploy to give the impression of defiance!  ‘Vote for ME!  I don’t take No SH*T!!’ 

Every last political party and every Councillor will soon be requesting the ratepayer to pay up and comply with the law.  You may be old enough to remember the ‘withhold your rents’ campaign.  In the end, those who led the campaign, recently appointed to Government, introduced penalties against their own people. 

Are you fool enough to believe the present office-bearers are more principled? 

NO. I thought NOT. 

Zip up your purse and batten down the hatches.  It’s gonna be a rough ride for any man or woman of principle!


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